Explore the challenges of being an unmarried 35-year-old woman from an orthodox family. Discover how societal expectations and personal struggles shape her journey as she searches for answers.
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The Weight of Expectations
At 35, I often find myself reflecting on the life I’ve built—or perhaps the life I’ve been confined to. As an unmarried woman in a conservative family, societal norms and familial expectations have shaped every decision I’ve made.
I earn a modest salary of 30,000 rupees a month, working diligently in my small town. While this job provides stability, it doesn’t compensate for the void left by the societal pressures I face daily. Marriage is not just a personal milestone here; it’s an expectation, one I’ve been unable to fulfill.
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The Invisible Chains of Tradition
Growing up in an orthodox family, I learned early that certain freedoms were not meant for me. Suitors came and went, but I never dared to entertain them. The weight of my family’s potential disapproval loomed too large. Every time a nice guy approached me, I pulled away, knowing they would never accept him.
As the years passed, I watched friends move on—building families, celebrating milestones—while I remained tethered to traditions that left little room for my happiness.
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The Strain of a Ticking Clock
Now, my biological clock feels like a constant reminder of time slipping away. The pressure it exerts is unrelenting, often manifesting in my mood. I’ve become cranky, snapping at the smallest inconveniences, feeling the weight of loneliness heavier than ever.
My father’s indifference adds to this frustration. His days are spent flipping through newspapers and watching television, with no real effort to find a suitable match for me. My mother, though concerned, seems resigned—worried but unwilling to take significant action.
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The Silent Struggle
Expressing my feelings openly has never been an option. How do I tell my family about the storm brewing inside me? They see the years passing by, just as I do, but their inaction feels like a betrayal.
The selfishness I perceive in their complacency only deepens my anguish. Time is not on my side, and each passing year feels like a missed opportunity.
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Searching for Answers
What should I do? That question haunts me daily. Should I rebel against the norms and take my happiness into my own hands, or should I continue waiting for my family to take the reins? The crossroads I face feel insurmountable, and yet, I know that action is the only way forward.
Life as a 35-year-old unmarried woman is far from easy, especially when the weight of tradition and societal expectations presses down on every choice.
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By sharing my story, I hope to connect with others who might feel the same. Have you faced similar struggles? What steps did you take to move forward?
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Dear Sister,
I too was in your predicament. I was not sure whether it was my destiny to remain unmarried. I decided to surrender to God and prayed to Him, “please do with me as you like.” I soon married (I did not realize then) a covert narcissist. After 10 years of being in that marriage, I’m now alone again. And I’m wondering whether that marriage was good or not? Society is not going to come to my rescue and shelter me from pain. So why should I live my life to please others and conform to society’s pressures? Whatever comes your way, take it as the mercy of the Supreme Lord and be content. Do not compare yourself to others. You may be better off unmarried. Thirty years from now your happily married friends are not going to remain happy: this world is dukhalayam ashashvatam – it is temporary and will end. My humble advice is that you move away from your parents because they seem to be not very supportive. Find like-minded people, and make a contribution to this world so that you can leave it in a state of joy. Hare Krishna!