My fiancé hired a private detective to investigate me before our engagement. Is this a normal part of arranged marriage today, or a serious trust issue?

Arranged Marriage: The Journey So Far

I have been in the process of searching for suitable prospects through arranged marriage platforms. After months of browsing profiles and having conversations, I finally connected well with a match. We got along quite well, exchanging chats, phone calls, and even meeting several times in person. Eventually, our families met, and after mutual approval, we got engaged. Our wedding is scheduled early in 2025.

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Arranged Marriage: The Unexpected Confession

After our engagement, my fiancé came up with a shocking revelation. He confessed that he, along with his family, had hired a private detective to snoop on me for over a month. This investigator conducted a thorough background check on me and my family by secretly gathering information from various sources such as my neighborhood, alma mater, workplace, and even my gym. Eventually, the detective provided a ‘clean chit,’ and only then did his family decide to move forward with the engagement.

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Arranged Marriage: The Betrayal of Trust

I was completely unaware of this until my fiancé admitted it after our engagement. Needless to say, I am shocked. I had always been honest with him about everything he wanted to know, yet he still felt the need to verify my character through a stranger. Throughout our relationship, he acted like he trusted me, but this revelation makes me question everything.

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Arranged Marriage: Just a Common Practice or a Breach of Trust?

My fiancé tried to pacify me, saying that such background checks are now a common part of the arranged marriage process, and many people are doing the same these days. However, I find it hard to digest. Despite his repeated reassurances that he now fully trusts me, I can’t help but worry that he might continue spying on me even after marriage.

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Arranged Marriage: Should I Go Ahead or Call It Off?

Now, I am faced with a difficult decision. Should I trust my fiancé and continue with the wedding as planned, or should I discuss the matter with my family and call off the wedding? I feel betrayed and confused. His actions make me question whether his family has serious trust issues.

Arranged Marriage: Ethical or Illegal?

Is hiring private detectives to snoop on potential partners really a standard practice in arranged marriages today, or is it an extreme step taken by a distrustful family? I also wonder if this is even ethical, if not outright illegal. Can I take legal action against them for invading my privacy and that of my family?

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Arranged Marriage: Future Concerns

What if my fiancé continues to be suspicious even after we are married? How do I handle such a situation where trust seems to be lacking from the very beginning? I have been honest with him from day one and trusted everything he told me without any verification. Have I been naive, while he has been playing smart all along?

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Arranged Marriage: Seeking Advice

Would you advise me to conduct a similar investigation on him and his family, even though I despise the idea of spying on loved ones? I am seeking advice on how to navigate this situation. Should I take a step back and reconsider, or should I move forward with caution?

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