A 36-year-old man shares how a forced marriage for the sake of dying parents turned toxic, leading to affairs, legal threats, and emotional chaos—seeking help to find peace and justice.
Rushed Wedding Due to Family Pressure
I am a 36-year-old man, married for over five years, now entering the sixth year of what began as a union more for our parents than ourselves. Our marriage was rushed because both sets of parents were severely ill and feared they wouldn’t live long enough to witness our weddings. Their wish was fulfilled, and they passed away three years ago, content that we were married.
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Emotional Turmoil After Marriage
From the beginning, our marriage was clouded by grief and emotional stress due to the declining health of our parents. We spent our early married life taking care of them, emotionally drained and distant from one another. This left us with no space to develop intimacy or compatibility as partners.
Counseling Brought Temporary Relief
After our parents passed, we were able to focus on ourselves for the first time in years. We began attending counseling sessions together, which helped us grieve and process our emotions. Counseling brought temporary emotional relief, but it also opened our eyes to the reality of our incompatibility.
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Living Separate Lives Within a Marriage
Once the emotional haze lifted, we discovered that we had very little in common. Our values, goals, and even basic interests didn’t align. Instead of fighting, we mutually allowed each other to pursue happiness in our own way—even if that meant being with other people. We never judged each other for having affairs; it was our way of surviving.
Mutual Affairs and Acceptance
We began living separate emotional and physical lives while remaining married on paper. This unique understanding kept things peaceful for a while. However, things took a dark turn when we both started discussing divorce more seriously and realized that detaching legally wouldn’t be as simple as emotionally letting go.
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Threats Over Property and False Cases
My wife, now legally married but living her own life, started threatening me with false dowry accusations if I didn’t hand over all the marital property. Since her current partner is a lawyer with powerful legal connections, she’s using that influence to intimidate me. She’s even going so far as to demand that I pay for the future childcare of her children with her boyfriend.
Gender Bias in Adultery Laws
Indian law does not recognize adultery as a criminal offense anymore, and more importantly, there’s no legal provision for a husband to charge his wife with adultery. This legal vacuum puts me in a helpless situation where her actions cannot be legally contested on moral grounds.
My Girlfriend Is Now Involved
My current girlfriend, who has supported me until now, is growing frustrated. After receiving threats from my wife, she’s begun to reconsider our relationship. She’s given me an ultimatum—to either resolve this legal and emotional chaos or risk losing her too.
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