The Emotional Struggles of Being the “Second-Best Child” in My Own Family

Experience the heartfelt journey of a data engineer facing societal pressures, family favoritism and emotional manipulation while striving for personal freedom and happiness.

Also read: Navigating Workplace Boundaries: A Personal Dilemma

My Life as a Data Engineer

I work as a data engineer at a leading software company, earning 24 LPA. From the outside, my life might seem perfect, but beneath the surface lies a story of emotional struggles, family favoritism, and unresolved scars from the past.

Also read: The Consequences of Ignoring Self-Respect in Relationships

Growing Up as the “Second-Best Child”

My relationship with my mother has always been difficult. From a young age, she treated me as inferior to my elder brother, comparing me unfavorably in every aspect—academics, looks, and even gender. My brother, the “golden child,” excelled in studies, graduated from NIT Nagpur, and later moved to the US for his master’s.

To fund his education, my mother pressured my father to sell our ancestral land, leaving us financially strained. Meanwhile, I was left to pursue engineering at a local B-grade college because my mother deemed it unnecessary for “girls” to study far from home.

Also read: Healing from a Toxic Childhood: My Story of Pain, Growth, and Boundaries

The Weight of Financial and Emotional Burdens

As I started working in Pune after graduation, my financial responsibilities grew. My mother demanded I buy gold jewelry worth over ₹20 lakhs for a future marriage I had no control over. I stayed in a PG while my brother’s 2BHK apartment in Pune was rented out.

Despite earning a decent income, I felt like I was living to meet her endless demands. She even tried to control my relationships, warning me against inter-caste marriages and threatening self-harm if I disobeyed.

Also read: A Silent Love That Never Faded: My Untold High School Crush Story

The Contrast: My Brother’s Privileged Life

My brother thrived in California, gifting expensive items to our mother and investing in properties. His lavish gestures only deepened her favoritism. When he married an inter-caste Punjabi coworker, my mother welcomed his wife with open arms, even gifting her heirloom jewelry.

Yet, despite his privileges, I realized my brother was also a victim of my mother’s control. His financial generosity seemed more like a way to maintain peace from afar.

Also read: A Journey of Friendship, Love, and Heartbreak

Finding Small Comforts in My Dad and Friends

My dad, though introverted and powerless against my mother, has always been a silent pillar of support. He once secretly advised me to marry someone of my choice and move away to find peace.

My friends in Pune have been a source of strength. They encouraged me to seek therapy, and after years of hesitation, I’m finally taking that step.

Also Read: Second Marriage While Having a Child from a Previous Marriage: A Heartfelt Confession

Taking the First Steps Toward Freedom

The gold jewelry, which my mother holds in her bank locker, symbolizes the control she wields over my life. I’ve decided to let it go for now and focus on therapy, reclaiming my independence, and finding the courage to stand up for myself.

This journey won’t be easy, but I’m ready to take charge of my life and make decisions that prioritize my happiness.

Why Sharing This Story Matters

Writing this story has been cathartic. I hope it resonates with others who’ve faced similar struggles and encourages them to seek help and take control of their lives.

Also read: My Husband Doesn’t Love Me: A Story of Struggle in a Joint Family

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